A friend of mine sends me some of the funniest emails. I thought I would post this here for you. - BJ
The Zen of Sarcasm
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you crticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force.' It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Where does the time go?! Our school year is nearing its end and with being room mom and a substitute teacher I have been staying very busy. I have a few more offerings on ebay this week. These are some little items that are perfect to tuck into any spot in your home.
I am a Georgia artist specializing in primitive, farmhouse, and colonial style textile folk art. My creations include dolls, pinkeeps, make-dos, early style samplers, seasonal decor and more.
Many of my creations are my own designs. I often recycle fabric from old clothing and linens to create new works of folk art for your home. These are not imports and are not mass produced. These are quality handmade goods made to bring you years of enjoyment. It is a real treasure to have something that is one of a kind and made with ones hands especially since machines create so much of what we have in our lives these days.
I hope that your purchase from me warms both your heart and home. Whether you just recently have discovered my work or if you have been following my creations through the years, I truly appreciate your interest.